Friday, November 26, 2010

TDoT(26): Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Who hasn't? I've never collected the supply of pills or tied the rope into a noose, though. I've been through some pretty depressed times in my life, surely we all have? Life can be a bloody difficult game to play and everybody has their struggles and, sometimes, when it all seems too dark and dreary, I've thought about throwing the proverbial towel in.

I've even got to points where I've thought I've needed to get some help, before I start collecting those pills. Then I've got the help I needed. From friends, from family, from opening my eyes and seeing the bigger picture.

I've always believed people have the right, though, to take their own lives. This is a big statement that needs much quantifying. I am not saying that severely depressed people should be allowed to spiral into a tunnel from which they can't escape. There is help for that, and every avenue should be explored. But. If a person is truly tired, and feels their time on earth has reached its end, in a rational and thought out process, I feel that, as intelligent beings (most of us), we're allowed to make that choice.

The argument that it's selfish to everyone left behind? Yes, I agree, it's not a nice thing for those left in the wake, devastated, asking themselves "Could I have stopped it?" But selfish, it's not. I speak here only about the kind of suicide I mentioned above - a rationally-made decision. Desperate, sadly spiralled types are different and devastating and I'm not even going to go there. It's hard, really, to make a distinction, isn't it? I hope you're getting my drift.

Back to the "Could I have stopped it" feelings of guilt. There we need to stop ourselves from the intrinsically human habit of turning everything into something about ourselves. In this case, it's not. If I decide to drive off a cliff into the sea because I am tired of it all, it is NOT about you. I have chosen to stop, that's all. Rejoice in the life that I had, rejoice in my finding peace which, obviously, if I've driven off a cliff into the sea, I didn't have.

I didn't really answer the question properly did I? Instead, I got on my ranty soapbox. Let me step down now, I have Christmas shopping to do.


Angela said...

Don`t worry, I`ve got you right. And I totally agree. I want to decide for myself, too, before I get too demented and anuisance for my family, although I HOPE it won`t be necessary.
Talking about dreams, I once had this happy dream where my daughters made me a nice basket of goodies, gave me a blanket, and we walked to a little elm grove at the curve of our river, the one that bordered to our lot. I sat there in the shade, and I felt very comfortable, and we all knew that I was going to die there. Like an inuit grandma on an ice shelf.
I wish I could do that. One day, not too soon. At the moment, I still enjoy my life tremendously.

Shiny said...

Geli - I'm glad you got me. It can be such a contentious issue! x