Sitting in the traffic on the way to Real Work today I was astounded to see a new level of ridiculous outside the Very Posh Boy's School I drive past each morning. It inspired another letter:
Dear Driver of Big Sparkley 4X4,
While I’m sure you love your new 4X4, and you wish to show off its 4X4 abilities by mounting the pavement when dropping off your little prince at school, parking it half on the pavement and the the other half in the bicycle lane seems, well, a bit selfish. You see, if you think about it, just a little, you will realise that those people who ride bicycles (i.e. the non-gas-guzzlers with an environmental conscience) will need to swerve out INTO TRAFFIC to get past your car, thus putting their lives in danger.
If you turned your head just slightly to the left of your large car, you would notice a huge open area where the other little princes’ parents park their sparkley 4X4’s when dropping them off at school, out of the bicycle lane, thus not endangering anyone’s lives completely unnecessarily.
While we’re having this little chat, perhaps I could just mention, too, that such a big car seems unnecessary for city driving. It is patently obvious that the closest it has got to anything to do with a dirt track is perhaps some dust in your garage. You do know that there is a little issue with carbon emissions and the environment and stuff, don’t you? If not, perhaps you could ask your little prince. I’m pretty sure they’re taught about it at that school.
Just a couple of points to ponder this afternoon when you fetch the little tyke from school. I’m sure you don’t want to cause any unnecessary harm (to both cyclists, and the environment).
I wonder if I should pop it under the windscreen wiper?
22 hours ago