Tuesday, November 17, 2009

A letter to the good-looking man

I am very fortunate to be driven to work every morning. Traffic can be a bit of a bitch and turn our what-would-normally-be-a-15-minute trip into... well, sometimes... a 40-minute trip, possibly more, depending on the weather etc. People in the City Beneath the Mountain forget, instantly, how to drive, the second even one drop of rain falls out of the sky. But that's another story, and has no bearing on my thoughts today, whatsoever. Especially since it seems Summer has (finally) arrived, and it is gorgeous outside!

Point is, I have plenty of time to look at the mountain and the people in cars around me, which I find fascinating. I am, however, always amazed by the fact that people driving in their cars seem to not be aware that everyone around them can SEE them. This morning, it caused me to formulate this letter:

Dear Rather Good-Looking Man in Blue Car,

Firstly, I liked your choice of tie this morning - you obviously have good taste as it matched your shirt perfectly. Your shirt, however, could've done with a little more ironing. My Mother is an excellent shirt ironer (or so my Father has always pronounced... thinking about it now, though, perhaps it was just to keep her doing it... Hmm... But back to my point) and is now retired so, perhaps could be persuaded to show you how to do it properly. Just a thought.

That's not the reason for my writing, though. I just wanted to tell you, because you obviously haven't realised, that your windows of your car are see-through. Like you can see out... we can see in. You need to be aware of this, really.

Picking your nose, while vaguely tolerable in a 3-year old (and even then, only vaguely), is completely unacceptable in a man your age. I have one word for you: tissues, love, tissues. Don’t spoil such a lovely view of a good-looking boy for those of us whiling away our time in the traffic by sticking your finger up your nose, please.

I’ve got a really sweet pack of tissues that fit nicely in my handbag, that’d fit perfectly in that cubby-hole thingamy in the car, where you put your change. I’ll even buy you a pack if it’d help. Let me know where to send them. Oh, and also if you want me to organise your shirt-ironing-lesson. My Mother will probably give you tea and cake and she makes a killer lemon cake!

Shiny xx

Am I wrong in thinking that nose-picking should remain in the realm of toddlers?


Rambler said...

ah, there is something freeing about a good nose-pick in the car though

Um, did I say that outloud?

Angela said...

He can be as good-looking as he wants, but if he does THAT in the open, he is NOT a man a girl would want. Hold up a sign next time you pass him by, with a finger and a nose, crossed out! Maybe that`ll teach him!
I always love your letters!

MumsRock said...

I love your open letter - we should do more- it could be a whole new website concept:)
If you ever fancy doing something for MumsRock - we'd love to have you?!?

Shiny said...

Clive - urm, yes...

Angela - thank you

Gigi - thanks for popping by and I'm glad you liked it. I have actually written a number of them, if you'd like to read the others (one to The Pope, at http://almostthirtythree.blogspot.com/2009/04/good-and-bad-another-letter.html). Please drop me a line at shiny@egofree.co.za or send your e-mail address and we can chat


family affairs said...

You should have thrown a packet through the window or passed them to him when he opened the window. No - unacceptable behaviour definitely Lx

Shiny said...

L - good idea! Next time, I shall. Maybe the packet of tissues will hit him on the nose-picking hand, which would be perfect! xx