Oh, yes, I do!

I got into the office this morning and, as usual, went through my morningly routine of turning on my computer, and delving into my mailbox, wading through and deleting spam (and I get plenty of it), reading the nice ones... you know, workly morning things. And then my eyes fell on one subject line: "You Do Not Want To Miss This". How exciting I thought, something I don't want to miss! Could it be a party? Someone's wedding? An invitation to the naming of a new cruise ship? (This is something I've always wanted to go to for some unknown reason, I get seasick for heaven's sake! I did once meet an English sailor in a dodgy bar who offered to show me his ship but I thought better of taking up on that particular offer, despite his being a very nice sailor).

Anyhow, back to the e-mail. Excitedly I opened it, shutting my eyes for effect (I really wanted to be surprised). I opened one eye... a picture of four people excitedly throwing their arms in the air with their mouths indicating that they were shouting "Yey!" at the time the picture was taken. This was looking good. I opened my other eye. Aarrgghh. There it was, the headline: You do not want to miss this opportunity to become a top sales performer. It's an advert for "The World's Shortest Sales Course". Hmph. I'm not even in sales. And never wish to be. I'd be atrocious at it.

Were I to send one, this would be my reply:

Dear Sir/Madam,

While I do appreciate your contacting me personally for your "World's Shortest Sales Course", and I do realise that possibly I would need to do such a course if I were ever to think of going into anything remotely related to sales, I have to be completely honest with you and say that this is something I most definitely do want to miss. Oh, yes, I do. I can't really think of anything worse than attending an entire day of sales stuff. I'd rather cut off my left foot really.

Thanks anyway,
Shiny x

I wonder if that's rude?