Thursday, August 26, 2010

Sex tapes

Honestly, how stupid are these people? That’s what I found myself asking myself while watching Oprah the other night. She was interviewing the mistress of a US politician (since divorced, cheating bastard) with whom she had a baby. They also made a sex tape, which, surprise surprise, landed in the wrong hands, about which everybody was oh-so-terribly upset. Idiots.

Now I can possibly understand how she might think it was a good idea, being a small-time actress with no huge prospects and no paparazzi following her (of course only while the affair was still secret) and perhaps wished for some publicity, but what on earth was the politician thinking? I can just see the conversation:

BlondeBimbo: Oh, honey, you’re looking so hot. Why don’t we record ourselves so I can watch it again when I’m lying here alone and you’re with your wife?
CheatingBastardPolitician: That’s a great idea, sweetcheeks. We can make a copy, which I’ll hide in my Treasure Box under my bed, along with my Star Trek card collection and my ostrich egg, so that I can watch it while my wife takes the kids to school.
BB: Ooo, it’s making me hot just thinking about it.
CBP: Me too!


Mumble, mumble, sheets twisting etc etc. Ten minutes later:

BB: Oh, my handsome stud, you’re such a demon in bed. Shall I turn the camera off now?
CBP: Yeah, you might as well. Take the tape out, though, it’d be terrible if it fell into the wrong hands, especially if I want to become president.
BB: Don’t worry, I’ll be sure it doesn’t. I’ll just store it safely here, amongst the other tapes. My friends-of-friends who’re housesitting while we go away to the beach and pretend to your wife that you’re on a business meeting are sure not to look at it.
CBP: No, of course not! Maybe just name it something unassuming, like BB/CBP Sex Tape or something, my little muffin of love. Then they’ll definitely not look at it. Aren’t we just so smart?
BB: Yes.


And they’re all over the place, these ‘famous people’ sex tapes. Can somebody please put an IQ minimum on people in the public eye? How stupid can you be, knowing the world is watching you, to make a sex tape? It WILL get out you twits, so don’t come wittering and crying when it does.

4 comments:

Angela said...

You never fail to make me laugh at your imagination! Where did you get those pet names? Yes, it was probably just like that!
Oh, I don`t mind them all being so incredibly stupid. Maybe this way the most insufferable ones will be cast aside? Ah well, I guess not. That stupid-as-bread-lady Ms. Sarah Palin is still looming, too!
But you are right, no pity from us.

Miranda said...

Heh heh, classic. And yes verytrue. I guess lust does things to one's brain? Love the treasure chest beneath the bed!!

And the link on your last post was hilarious!! haha, poor guy!

Shiny said...

Geli - those names? From inside my head... Should I worry? I love that - stupid-as-bread!

Miranda - wasn't that link just great? I couldn't stop laughing, poor guy!

xx

Shiny said...

Geli - those names? From inside my head... Should I worry? I love that - stupid-as-bread!

Miranda - wasn't that link just great? I couldn't stop laughing, poor guy!

xx