Shiny’s Mother: Hello love. Can you do me a favour? Are you on Facebook?
Shiny: Sure. I’m not at the moment, but I will be tomorrow. What do you need?
SM: I want you to enter a competition for me. For Women’s Day. They’ve given a recipe for a cocktail and you have to give a name to it.
Shiny: Okay, what name have you given it?
SM: Vodka Vagina.
Shiny: (Spluttering) You’re not serious, surely?
SM: I think it’s a brilliant name for a cocktail! Have you seen the names they give them?
Shiny: Yes. What’s the prize?
SM: VIP tickets for the winner and three friends to Club TrendyYoungThings.
Shiny: But, mum, you’ll hate it there. It’s for Trendy Young Things. And it’s a night club. I don’t think you and three of your 60-something year old friends will really enjoy it.
SM: Oh no, when I win, I’ll give you the tickets (with a tone of pride and charity in her voice.)
Shiny: Urm, thanks, but three of my 30-something year old friends and I are not really Trendy Young Things either!
SM: Oh, well then I’ll give it to the Trendy Young Things next door.
So, being a dutiful daughter, I went into Stalkbook this morning and found (thankfully) the e-mail address needed to enter the competition (for a moment I thought I’d have to enter as me, on Facebook) and she entered.
She has just phoned me to say she received a curt e-mail back from the woman running the competition to say she found her entry offensive! My mother has written back to say she is sorry she found it offensive but she thought it very apt and, although she’s never drunk cocktails in her 60-something years on this earth, she has read some cocktail menus in her life, and thought her suggestion was rather tame!
It’s hard to bring up parents correctly, isn’t it?