Wednesday, May 6, 2009

The Treats Box

There is a heirarchy in my home.

I have a Treats Box. Everybody who comes into my house knows about it within about half an hour of being there. I'm not sure how, the news just spreads. I think people take newcomers surreptitiously into corners of the house and whisper to them. Or maybe they know already, and that's why they come.

The Treats Box is a cardboard box which lives in the cupboard next to The Fridge. It contains, obviously, treats. These range from chocolate (bars mainly, sometimes boxes if anybody in the house gets gifts... at Christmas there are always Ferrero Rochers) to sweeties (jube jubes, jelly babies, Sugus, Fizzers standard, various others intermittently) to biscuits (chocolate and savoury, sometimes pretzels too) and chips. It gets requests too (popcorn for The Pond, Sugus for SJ, sour worms for Nini, anything for The BFF - I have had occassions where I've had to soothe sulks from people not finding what they're looking for in there. Invariably, though, there's always something for everyone.) Sometimes it's full to overflowing, sometimes it's a little less but it is never, ever, empty.

The Treats Box enjoys a status similar to the other members of the household. Sometimes, I fear, it even enjoys top spot in the heirarchy. As in, it gets greeted with as much enthusiasm as the rest of us (that being me, Big Black Dog, the Siamese Princess and, of course, The Pond. I exclude the inadequately named Babycat purely because she lives outside and is generally not greeted by those coming through the front - long story.)

So, yes, depending on who you are, and three people stand out as shining examples of this, namely one of my favourite people in the world (SJ), Nini, and The BFF, the order can change of the greetings. These three love me, the Big Black Dog, and The Treats Box almost equally (she says cautiously, suddenly doubting herself). All three will always say hello to the Big Black Dog first, generally because she bounds at them before they've even made it through the front door. Nini and SJ will roll around on the lounge floor with her for, well... until I make loud whinging noises about being ignored and start mumbling things like "I swear you love that dog more than me." Then they come through for hugs and kisses from me, and then... Treats Box. Immediately, without fail.

The BFF does similar, but he finds it hard to ignore the pull of the Treats Box (and The Fridge) so spends a little less time with the Big Black Dog initially (he always goes back though). As for me... if he trips over me on the way to the Treats Box, I get my kiss then, otherwise I'm after.

Okay, so I may have over-exaggerated that slightly but it's in my nature to do so. You get the idea though. That the Treats Box enjoys a status up there with the rest of us in the house. And rightly so. As far as I'm concerned, a house is not a home without one.

Now why did I not get dark chocolate the last time I Treats Box-shopped?


Elan Hoffman said...

THE Treats Box! I miss you and it and the big black licking machine

Miranda said...

Now that is a fine plan. I'm not sure it would work in our household though as if there are any treats around I can think of NOTHING else until they have all been consumed. I may try it though, and keep you posted! I mean, how much bigger can I get? And maybe it'll make the baby come out faster too - come shooting out from all the sugar rush. Hmmm, now there's a thought!

Shiny said...

Elan - me too. I mean I miss you too. I have the Treats Box. And the Big Black Dog.

Miranda - that vision is, urm, slightly disturbing but quite funny - babies shooting out on a sugar rush! You must get a treats box though, it's a necessity x

Jeanine Cameron said...

if i was oprah, i'd put the treats box in my 'favourite things' show!

Shiny said...

Nini- you mean, WHEN you are (like) Oprah. Give me warning though, I'll need to be sure it's well-stocked before you bring the cameras xxx