Thursday, February 12, 2009

No punctuation

We went for the celebratory birthday to the very smart restaurant at the terribly elegant hotel. It was one of those places where everyone looks like they've just walked out of the pages of a magazine. I felt underdressed, even though I’d especially put in earrings and be-mascara-ed myself for the occasion. You know those places: Where the staff are obviously hired not only for their waitering talents but also for how good they look in their black waitering outfits (ours was gorgeous. More on him later); where there is music, but it’s that subtle kind, in the background, tinkling away, almost as if there’s a dude in the rafters above playing his piano. The kind of place that just oozes, well, subtlety. I always feel a bit like a bull in a china shop in them. It was lovely though.

The wineglasses were huge. It was like drinking out of a fishbowl. Luckily without the fish. My father is a connoisseur of wine. I’m a pleb. I can tell the difference between red and white (and so proud! Don’t blindfold me though). Anyway, Papa duly ordered some delicious wine to pour into the bottom of our fishbowls.

The menu. Well, it’s what they call Asian fusion I think. Everything sounded mouthwateringly delicious. But the menu has no punctuation. Whatsoever. An example:

venison –
springbok shank terrine potato mushroom puree carrot puree herb emulsion savoy cabbage buffon pangratta crumb jus

Hard to work out really, what you’re getting. I had scallops to start, with a crunchy deep-fried seafood specimen on top, served in some seafoody tasting bisque. It was good. I’d only had scallops once before. They had stuffed this version with some fragrantly delicious red stuff. Then I had rib eye steak, vacuum-cooked (?) for two hours, served on garlic mash. Yum. The others had various things, some of which we could discern what was what, others, well, just tasted good. We may never taste those tastes again. It’s difficult to recreate the taste of something when you don’t what it is. We're the pass-around-the-table-so-everyone-tastes variety (as are the neighbours (my parent's neighbours who are like family and actually have a gate between their houses so their kids can come and go freely and swim in their pool), luckily). A smorgasbord of tastes.

The waiter looked like a grown-up cherub. We were a table of six and he payed me lots of attention. I like that. In fact he payed me so much attention that I thought perhaps he might (mistakenly) think I was paying the bill. This was odd, considering the paternalistic (is that the right word?) society we were in (the hotel was one of those Old School kind of places) and I was a younger woman at a table which had amongst it’s guests, two older men. We'll not get into that feminist debate thing. At least not here, now.

Anyhow, I’m going on a bit, let’s leave it at: The food was beautiful, the company great, the hired help delicious and the violet flavoured marshmallows sublime.

When making violet marshmallow do you think they actually crush the petals into the mixture?

9 comments:

Laura - Are We Nearly There Yet Mummy? said...

My mouth is a watering!

How do you vacuum cook a steak? Is a new Dyson feature?

Angela said...

Oh, don`t we just NEED some such diners (pronounced the French way) out ? I love them , too, and like you, always feel out of place. Wonderful, humble feeling! My husband knows about wines, so I can always feel safe! Oh, of course the waiter thought you were a princess, taken out by the King and his company! In your mascara and earrings you certainly looked smashing! Where is a photo? Did you (in reality) celebrate your Mom`s birthday? I bet she loved it, too!

Shiny said...

Laura - the vacuum-cooking... heaven only knows. Perhaps I heard wrong? It was melt-in-your-mouth meat though, so I may have to try hoovering the next piece of beef I cook...

Angela - we did indeed celebrate her birthday! Her pudding came with Happy Birthday written in cursive chocolate on the plate, with a single gold birthday candle - such fun!

x

Miranda said...

Oh I love reading menus. Specially the reeeally pretentious ones with drizzles of this and natural mineral water specially collected from the ancient springs of Fiji and hand picked seasonal sun kissed cherry tomatoes. Ooooh those piss me off!

tam said...

Just wanted to say how fabulous it was to see you at your sister's fabulously trashy party, though I am glad we escaped before the tequila...
Keep shining, you beauty you. I've been slack on your blog coz it wasn't on my list (it is now) - you really have been prolific. Wow.

Shiny said...

Miranda - I actually asked the delicious waiter guy if the Asian Crabs were from Asia because I'm trying to minimise my carbon footprint. He looked at me askew and I'm sure I heard him 'tsk' beneath his breath.

Tamara - yey to seeing you too, and to blue eyeshadow!

Frank J said...

I've just stumbled onto your blog from Rambler's tag...

Fantastic stuff... I love your comment on hoovering a steak - hysterical!!

I may just become a follower ;)

Shiny said...

Yippee, welcome Frank! I'll let you know how it goes when I try it...

Anonymous said...

I was waiting for more about the waiter... it is all about waiters in my life this week!