An update

It’s a weird wake-up call, having someone you love face the challenge of cancer. She is doing well, the op yesterday showed another lump which wasn’t seen on the scan (a scary thought in itself), so she may need a mastectomy. Big, hard stuff but she’s a brave girl. I’ll be off to see her after Real Work. I have wanted to go there the whole time, to cling to her, like a little lichen, possibly even like a barnacle covered in lichen. Luckily she has her love with her, so she hasn’t had to be alone. I’m really looking forward to seeing her later.

And, in the meantime, between the worrying, the world carries on turning, but from my perspective there’s a different glint to it. It makes me want to treat people more carefully, be a little kinder, pay a bit more attention to the important things. My thoughts are constantly swirling (nothing new there) but with an added edge. A good edge because some good must come out of this. She is brave and strong, although in a very small frame, and is more than capable of fighting this, with all of us backing her up, and there are SO many who love her.

In the meantime, let's all be a little kinder to each other, shall we?

Unbearable news

About twenty five years ago I lay along the back of the couch (I was 10, it was a favourite spot, and I was small enough, at the time, to fit) and felt the breath sucked out of me and the world tilt uncomfortably as my father explained to my sister and I that my mother would be in hospital for a bit, having an operation that, hopefully, would let her live. She had breast cancer, at 40.

On Friday, I had exactly the same feeling when one of my best friends called me to say that the lump she’d found is also cancer. She’s 37. Apparently they treat aggressively in such a young woman. She’ll have chemo and radiation and is, as we speak, having a scan to determine how much they’ll cut.

It seems inconceivable that someone so wonderful, so sweet, should have to go through this. I want to throw myself to the ground and shout and scream that it’s not fair, like a two-year old. But mainly I wish that we could share out the struggle that she is facing. She has so many people who love her, if we just each took a little bit, it’d be so much more tolerable.

Luckily she is strong, and fit, and they caught it early. We’ll wait for the scan results and then she goes in this afternoon for the operation. My mother is now in her 60’s and (touch wood) has been healthy since.

In the meantime we all pull in closer and cling to each other and surround her with love and focus all our energy on everything going well this afternoon and the next months. Please.