Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Gone dreaming

I've been busy having something I would liken to a mid-life crisis I think. Mild anxiety with a strong urge to flee into the countryside where the air is fresh(er) and the sky is vast. In between mid-life-crisising, I have been having some fun, fretting about how I could possibly have become old enough to have a mid-life crisis, and attempting to do a lot of work to keep the wolves from the door.

Life, I guess, is what you'd call it. I keep having sudden moments of clarity, though, when I think that I'm sticking around too long, waiting for something to happen. It's not going to happen without a push and there's nobody in my vicinity who's going to make the push for me, so best I get myself going. Half the time I'm so tired that I have to drag myself out of bed, though, making the task of going to buy a firecracker, then light it, and stick it under my bum just too exhausting to contemplate.

I'm trying, really I am, and that's the most I can do. I'm trying to keep those clear moments at the fore, hatching plans, dreaming things, trying to catch the dreams and make them my reality. In the meantime, I'm trying to remain grateful for what I have which is, don't get me wrong, a hell of a lot, and I'm looking out of my turret across to the mountains far away there and dreaming. There's a woman in the building opposite who seems to be doing the same thing - I can see her leaning out of her window in the sun, just thinking.


Angela said...

Oh, why don`t you connect with her?! Just think what a story SHE can tell you! Maybe together you can get some firecrackers and blow up a real good fire!
Oh Shiny, don`t watch yourself too much. Just imagine the life you`d like to lead, it`s YOUR life, after all, and if at all possible, create the circumstances you want to live in. One can never have it ALL, but most of it.
If you ask me, I think you should move into a pretty little cottage, out in the country, with a nice neighbourhood, near a pub with a good kitchen, and write your book! And before you earn money with it, well, if ever, (ask Nicky how to promote), get a job which you can do without attendance in an office. There are computers nowadays! Every two weeks or so you go downtown to show up and shop, and the rest of the time you are happy. Hey, good idea? Yeah?

Shiny said...

Geli - yes, yes, yes! That's a good idea! xx