Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Oh, enough already

So there I was, whinging and whining and bemoaning my place in this unjust and nasty world we live in, when I looked out of my window and saw picture-book clouds (admittedly building up into a storm), that had turned bright pink in the glow of the sun setting over The City Beneath the Mountain. My heart scrunched at the beauty of it.

At the same time, I received a Real Work e-mail with photographs of a woman living in a faraway rural area with little access to anything, let alone medical help, who is having a nasty skin reaction to her medication. I cried. Not purely because it looked so sore and uncomfortable, but because of her eyes. They were dull. Not blank dull but the kind of dull that reflects a life of poverty, harshness and struggle.

I landed back to earth with a bump. How dare I be miserable in my kushy (sp?) job, a warm home with full cupboards to go home to, people who love me on the end of numerous telephones, all with their accounts paid? How dare I get cross because my personal space is forever invaded? Those people care for me, anger is not allowed.

So I cried, deep down crying, and pulled myself up by my bootstraps and made a vow with myself to spend more time finding nice things to do, for me and other people, and to spend less time navel-gazing in a quagmire of self-indulgent misery.

Forgive me for making you all (my two readers) have to be audience to it.


Miranda said...

Aw but Shiny its okay to be sad sometimes - we're all allowed to be. And yes you ARE brave and yes there are wonderful things in the world to be grateful for and to marvel at. So if you're ready yes, yay! embrace the normal yet miraculous thing in life but if you're not I think its okay to be sad for a day or two longer (but not too long, kay!)

Sorry I've been rubbish at commenting but am here with you! From afar. xxx

Shiny said...

Ah thanks Miranda, I'm ready to leave the morbs behind. They were making me, well, morbid! xx