Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Flitting fug

Somebody called me brave this morning. I stopped myself from screaming “No, I’m not”, throwing myself on the floor and wailing loudly only because he’s a kindly old man who I adore and would hate to make feel silly in any way. You see, I can feel my brave cloak slipping horribly and, when it slips, all manner of ghastly things might show that’ll make people run and scream even more than I felt like running and screaming this morning.

Yesterday I was fugged, today I’m flitting. Fuggedly flitting. From to-do-thing to to-do-thing, getting not one of them done. I have the concentration span of a flea on acid. Or maybe more a flea who’s just smoked the biggest spliff on earth. My senses seem dulled, yet my mind fires at a million firings a minute. I’m sure there’s a better word than ‘firings’ but I can’t get to it.

And through it all I’m struggling to keep the cloak closed because it’s cold out there and my exposed bits are shrivelling and shivering and crying to be looked after. I’m just not sure how to do the looking after right now, being flittingly fugged or fuggedly flitted.


Angela said...

Okay, forget your brave cloak, just let it slip. I`m sending you another one, woven of faith and empowerment and self-esteem and at some places a bit of despondency (to not make you too conceited), and if you put THAT one on, like at a disguise party, and you just PLAY to be all that, you will feel how good it does you and that you even like that cloak, so why not wear it more often.
And while you wear it, you allow yourself to think all these so far unthinkable thoughts (my tongue gets twisted by all the funny th`s) of writing your book, moving away, doing completely new things! And then you start your book right there, with the beginning of your new adventures! How does that sound?
You are right, my faith in you is unlimited! You can FLY!

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