Thursday, May 12, 2011

A blogging rant

This blogging thing is fascinating. One of the first blogs I got hooked on is Family Affairs, a blog written wittily, truthfully and very funnily by a woman who has been through a divorce, has three growing children, a new (well, not anymore new, years-old now, but he was new) boyfriend called BB, and an ex-husband who has recently married her boyfriend’s ex-wife. Yes, you heard correctly. They met after she’d been together with BB for a good while and they (the ex-husband and boyfriend’s ex-wife) married within a year! Jerry Springer-esque indeed. She’s not though (Jerry Springer-esque).

The interesting thing is that I feel like she’s one of my friends now, despite being on different continents, and never having met. But I’ve read her blog for years now and gone through the dramas and ructions and plenty of happy times that she’s gone through, throughout the whole thing. She’s struggled and, I think, dealt with numerous verysticky situations admirably. It’s not all drama, by no means, in between there’s loads of fun and just every day stuff, like any blog.

The drama has just come to the fore because suddenly the boyfriend’s ex-wife/husband’s new wife has discovered the blog and now she’s feeling funny about writing things and feeling, I would think, limited. Not that she’s ever used her blog for mud-slinging at all. For the first time ever she had a nasty comment yesterday and, if I can be all judgemental, which I can, this being MY blog, it was bitchy and rather silly. It is also quite suspicious in its timing.

Now don’t get me wrong. I think comments are wonderful. And they don’t need to always be nice – a bit of intelligent debate about any topic, or sound advice even if it’s not what you really want to hear, is welcome. Uninformed commentary and harsh judgement on your life choices, parenting skills or pretty much anything for that matter is, however, not welcome and frankly is unhelpful and unnecessary. There's something to be said for being kind. Always.

I’ve always had an issue with privacy on my blog, which is why I remain (relatively) anonymous. I feel for her over there at Family Affairs. She’s always written honestly and now she must be feeling censored on her own blog. I censor myself, but would hate to have a real reason, like somebody breathing down my neck.

It also brings her to the point of deciding how far to take it. Respond? Ignore? Respond once, then ignore? I guess nobody really wants the kind of back-and-forthing that could result in full-on cat-fighting on their blog, but I’m sure she also feels she should stand up to this person who has made some fairly harsh comments. And on one hand I feel she should, having not deserved the comment she got, in my opinion.

Funny, I get very protective about my friends and, although we’ve never met I count her as one of them. I wanted to write a letter to the nasty commenter and tell her to back off. I had more choice words to use but they’re unladylike so I’ll just use ‘back’ and be all polite.

It got me to thinking what I would do. Honestly, I think I might run into a corner and hide. I’m a sissy with confrontation though. I’d love to be one of those people that gets cross, shouts and walks out, slamming the door behind me. I’m not though, I cannot, ever, leave something festering. With me, it gets sorted out now, even if it means I have to back down.

This is a rambling post again. I wanted to be succinct and sensical and say something wise. I fear I haven’t. For L, from Family Affairs, though, I’d like to shout at her nasty commenter, tell her to bugger off and slam the door in her face. And here, in blogland, where everything is metaphorical, I can.



family affairs said...

Aaah thats a lovely post - thank you very much. You're right about all of it and I think I have decided not to do anymore "airing my dirty laundry". Don't know if she'll respond to my post of yesterday, but frankly think she might be a little more reticent having seen the responses! I'm tempted to post your post on my blog - can I? Indeed should I? Maybe I shouldn't. Perhaps I should just go away feeling all warm and cosy and knowing that deep friendships have been formed without having even met and that is enough for me. Love u!! Lx

Shiny said...

L - You're welcome to post it if you want to. And even more welcome to feel warm and cosy and loved x

Red Dirt Lattes said...

It's interesting that she kept the comment up. I admire that. Says a lot. Because she could easily delete it. By leaving it up and letting others read it, I think she is standing up to it, confronting it.

Kristin said...

Fortunately, nobody ever reads me so I don't have to worry about comments. That being said, I know I cannot retain my anonymity, so I don't even try. That mostly works for me but there's so much more I want to say!

I agree with Red Dirt Latte. It takes a lot to keep the comment up and the negativity reflects on the commenter far more than the writer.

Shiny said...

RDL - true.

Kristin - also true. And, I'm a regular reader of your blog! I love it.