Another letter

I tend towards completely mildly absurd stalkbook statuses. Mostly they are vaguely (or cryptically) related to what’s going on in my life but, sometimes, they’re just nonsense. Those angst-filled Facebook statuses irritate me. You know the ones? The ones that are shouting “Look at me! Look at me! I need sympathy! Ask me what’s wrong.” Ones like: Poppie van Complainer is so cross.

Anyway, let me not get off my point. At some stage last week I had a completely nonsense one and a cousin of a friend of mine (you’ve got to love Stalkbook for its ability to make you ‘friends’ with all sorts) commented thus: ROFLMFAO.

You know my affinity for text-language. I have had to compose a letter which I should send.

Dear Cousin-of-Friend,

Thank you so much for commenting on my Stalkbook status. As much as we don’t like to admit it, acknowledgement of any kind is always welcome, even if it is of an incomprehensible kind on a vacuous platform such as Stalkbook. I just have a little thing to say.

While I am also of the kind that opens Stalkbook, then wanders into the kitchen to make myself a nice sandwich (cheese and gherkin, with a smattering of chutney is currently my favourite) while it is downloading, one should not fill one’s mouth with said sandwich, just before commenting. As my mother (and I’m sure yours) always said, it is rude to talk with one’s mouth full and, generally, also makes what you are saying unintelligible.

This was obviously the case with your comment: ROFLMFAO. I spent a long time (while eating my delicious cheese/gherkin/chutney sandwich), trying to work out exactly what you were trying to say. I’m going to go with: You are wonderfully clever, witty, and beautiful too. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.

Thanks, again, for commenting though. Please don’t let this put you off. As I said, I’m a sucker for acknowledgement.

Love,
Shiny x

I am getting old, aren’t I?

A funny SMS

My mother has just discovered the joys of texting. I received this from her yesterday:

Do u want 2 go 2 (Neighbourhood Restaurant) 2nite? Xx

Yes, from my mother, filled with 2's and u's. I was horrified. I felt like I'd received a message from some illiterate, pimply youth who'd taken over my mother's phone. In fact, I called her, to make sure. My (very literate - she spent hours correcting our grammer as children) informed me that she has become SMS-savvy and that, indeed, the message was from her. I laughed. A lot. She then regaled the joys of it, and how, if she didn't use it, it'd take her hours to text.

Another of my pet hates - shortened SMS language. I do sound like a bit of a hater this week, don't I? First the Perky Ponytails, now this. It's just that I get so sad when language is massacred. Words are so beautiful, they deserve to be written out in full. And don't get me started on 'emoticons'... are we becoming so dumbed-down that we can't even work out the emotions behind a message sent to us, without the message-sender sending a silly little face to tell us how to feel? Phhtt.

It is funny when it's your mother though, admittedly, and provided much amusement at dinner at (Neighbourhood Restaurant) last night because, of course, I answered:

Yes pleez ;)

Am I a phone snob in my thoughts on SMS-language?

SMS's and a letter

I love getting text messages. I guess everybody does. It's our innate desire to know that somebody is thinking of us. Or mine, at least. Let me not put my over-zealous need for attention onto the entire world. I don't however, wish to know that the bank, or clothing store, or place-that-is-supposedly-giving-cellphones-away-for-free are thinking of me (and the other 45 629 people on their contact list). Just as an aside.

The reason I'm bringing SMS's up, though, is because I have had a series of strange ones in the past 24 hours. Well, okay, just two strange ones, in amongst the normal run-of-the-mill kind. The first was at about 10pm last night - from my ex-therapist. I did a stint of therapy a while ago to try and instill some calm to my mind. I have a lot to say about therapy, my mind changes constantly on whether I'm a true believer in it, or not (perhaps I need therapy for my therapy-issues...)

I liked my therapist, a lot. We became good friends and I could have happily met her for a drink after work to chat, but realised that I was paying a ridiculous amount of money to sit in her lounge and have said chat and that, by the time we came to the end, I would be far wiser to be spending that money on a glass of wine with friends (well, actually, at that price, a really REALLY good bottle of wine, and some dinner. Three course dinner at that) and having the same chat. So I broke up with her. I felt bad. It was the day before Valentine's Day.

The Pond says I get too involved with my therapists (this was my second attempt, the first one kept crying... WTF? It took me a year to break up with her - I didn't want to make her cry. Again.) I can't help it that I'm chatty. Why shouldn't I discuss her boyfriend, her families issues with her boyfriends non-marrying-type issues and... sigh, maybe she's right.

Anyway, back to the point - I got an SMS from her, late last night. It said: Hi there. I have been thinking about you and hoping all is well. Love Maude*. I thought that was sweet, if a bit strange. I am busy formulating a reply in which I shall ask all the pertinent questions about what's happening in her life, with the boyfriend and such. It's just what I do.

The really wierd one came through this morning though. It said: I have my old number back :) Please in future contact me on 079****. Regards Hera*. I don't know anyone called Hera. I riffled through the files stored in the back of my head, you know the ones where you store names, faces, people you meet... Nada, no Hera. Is she some long-lost friend? Somebody I knew at nursery school? Somebody's wife? She must be somebody who's old number I should've had, and who's new number I should use. But for what? Oh dear.

I formulated this reply:

My dearest Hera,

How lovely (and unexpected) to get your message this morning - it's always nice to hear from you, even if it's just a change of contact details. How are things with you? Still working at the same place? Where was it again? (You know me, and my terrible memory!)

I am good, still living here, where you last saw me. When was it we last saw each other? It feels like years, but time flies by so fast, it could've been last week for all I know. Where were we again? And who else was there? (Tsk, this memory of mine).

I hope you are well, how's everybody else doing? Do let me know. And remember to include names, ages, and where I know them from too, please, what with my memory and all.

Much love,
Shiny x

P.S. Should we meet up again soon? It's been too long. I think.

*Name changed to protect her identity. Who calls their child Maude anyway?