"I want to marry an oyster"

That’s what she said, in Chinese-overtoned English: “I want to marry an oyster. Then I can wake up in the night and nibble on him.” With this, she made little eating motions, a bit like a hamster really. It's an understandable statement, the market oysters being of the most delicious I've ever tasted. In her little grey dress with a flower on the left breast and pearls, she and her husband sold sushi to the market’s hoardes and she wished he were an oyster.

That’s what I did on Saturday, to temper my claustrophobia. I went to the market filled with bustlingbusy people, eating and drinking and being noisy and fascinating. I watched a lot and felt hot tears in my head, deep inside. And we spoke to the market people, who each have a story, and who we’re getting to know and growing to love. The honey guy had a baby with the (I think) herb lady last year, the first market baby... See? Stories. I’m involved by proxy, courtesy of my lovely friends, who are market people themselves.

I’m not sure it did my claustrophobia any good. That spiralled into a massive torrent on Sunday, but I don’t want to talk about it.

The market was worth it, for many reasons, the main one being the sentence, which has reverberated since, creating fabulous little stories in my head:

”I want to marry an oyster.”

Sunday

Sunday. Coffee with varsity friend, of many, many years. Easy, cafe latte conversation while cute child distracts us. Then admin, bill-paying, shampoo-buying, rewarded with drink with in-love boy moving cities for love, even though he thinks he's not. Admirable I think.

Delicious sausages and German beer with Pop and Shuzie for lunch, comfortable.

Bumping into work friend, joining her for a glass of wine while her husband looks after the baby, her sweet, new, flannel pyjamas with lady bugs on in the trolley next to us.

G looks on quietly and we laugh in the car on the way home, a happy day

Lucky Shiny.

What a lucky girl I am

So, yes, what've I done in the last two days? Bullet form today, because I am feeling super-organised, and I feel like splashing some little dotty bullets about the place:

• Visited Pop twice, once on Wednesday, once yesterday, and seen her turn from pale, horribly sore, unhappy, looking-so-small Pop into slightly rosier, less sore, still-looking-so-small Pop. I've just spoken to her and she's being discharged. This has made me dance a little jig of joy. Of course I want her to be quick-quick back to rosy, pain-free, back-to-normal-size (which is small, but in a different way) Pop, but she's on that road and I'm so glad. She was ever-so-brave and they found nothing 'untoward' in her lymph nodes which is wonderful news. Now she just needs to recover fully.
• I turned 36 years old, making my blogname even more ridiculous than, well, the day before the day before yesterday (otherwise known as Tuesday.)
• I breakfasted on said birthday with my parents and their best friends who have known me since I was born. It made me realise how incredibly lucky I am to have them all within walking distance of The House in the Middle of the Street. They gave me beautiful roses too.
• I suppered on said birthday with wonderful, old friends at a pavement restaurant in the City Beneath the Mountain. The concrete sizzled in the heat and the bins smelt rank from around the corner and down the alley in the furnace-like temperatures, as we all listened in on the internet date at the next table. The smell dissolved in the good company and the couple next door seemed well-suited. They must've breathed a sigh of relief when we left, with our twenty waggling ears between us.
• I stayed outside as a thunderstorm passed over causing steam to rise from my driveway after the even hotter heat of yesterday - 39 degrees celcius. Too hot to breathe. We don't often get thunderstorms (or rain) in Summer here on the tip of Africa, that happens always further North where I grew up. It was wonderful. The smell of rain on hot dust is indesrcibable, so I won't try.
• I got into bed, my hair filled with raindrops, my body cooled and lay in the air of the fan, contemplating what a very lucky girl I am to love and be loved as I am.

Hmm, not so sure about the bullet form... will go back to paragraphs next time, okay?

A Big Day

Everything seems insignificant on Big Days. You know the kind. The days when Big Things happen. Like today. When people walking around, dropping their kids at school, buying milk, getting on with, well, life, all seems weird. I expect everybody to feel how I do today: anxious, worried, teary.

You see, my lovely friend Pop goes in to have both breasts removed and reconstructed today. Although they only found cancer in one breast she decided to take both off in case. Very wise I think. She’s been so very brave throughout the chemo, lost her hair and looks beautiful for it, had ‘chemo brain’, finished it all off and now it’s time for the op. Today.

Her partner, Shuzie, has been incredible. She’s the kind of person you’d want around if something like this happened (God forbid.) She got on with it. They changed their (already healthy) eating habits, they kept fit and healthy, they did all the things you’re supposed to, while still doing the fun things and the naughty things and things that you’re ‘not supposed to’. And the main thing – the love they share. Hell, it’s not perfect, and I’m sure there are cracks just as in any relationship but from the outside looking in… it’s all-encompassing, comforting, present.

So today my bloggy readers, just today, I will ask a favour of you: to pray to whoever your god is, that it all goes as it should and that her recovery is as quick and painless as possible. It’s my birthday tomorrow and that’s all I want for it. Please.

New Year's delight

I have ten minutes, then C, G and I are off to catch the train into the city to meet Pop and Shuzie for lunch, a New Year's Eve lunch. I have never been an NYE fan - the searching for the best party, the feigned excitement, the slobbery kisses from strangers at midnight. Sometimes I have a braai at my house, last year I had something resembling a party, with people I love. This year, it's a DVD, and sleep, probably way before midnight, and a fresh, clear, 1st of January 2011.

I have a feeling about 2011, I'm not sure if it's good or bad, but it's expectant. I don't think I've had that before. What I wish for, for us all, is happiness. Happiness like that I have seen in my 17-month old little nephews over the last ten days - undaunted, unstoppable, crazy-shit happiness that makes them giggle amd squeal at small things. What a treat to have them here, they are delicious.

So, yes, a quick note. I have much to tell of those squeals, of the fascination of one nephew with his grandfather, of watching the bond develop, tight as tight can be, of Christmas lunches and family, of friends, and love, and a little tinge of sadness, but mainly of those delighted squeals. I'll be back soon, as soon as I have time. Right now, peak-a-boo, buzzing like a bee and pointing at the butterflies that hang from my roof, all to elicit that delight, is way more important.

Wishing you all out there a delight-filled 2011. Remember to giggle and see the joy in everything.

Shiny x

The larney dinner

It's one of those places where there are terribly polite, slightly disturbingly obsequious people around every turn, wanting to open doors for you, offer you drinks, carry stuff, wipe your nose. Okay maybe I'm taking it too far, but you get the idea. It starts when you drive up the driveway and park next to the extravagant water feature and two dudes in suits rush up, one to open the door and one to offer to take your car away for you to some unseen garage. The only cars allowed to stay in the vicinity are big and black, with tinted windows and huge price tags.

You walk into a triple volume (possibly even quadruple) room with an enormous chandelier thingamy above a bar and little groups of chairs huddling around small tables on which to set your designer drinks. It's all very gracious and stylish. One whole wall is glass with a view of The Mountain (the one I refer to in the phrase The City Beneath the Mountain). It's beautiful. Here, too, many men quietly ambush you with menus, drinks etc. I had a Rose Petal Mojito. It was as beautiful as the decor, filled with blood red rose petals and deep green fresh mint. Very Christmassy colours really.

Then next door to the restaurant where Aubrey, our waiter, placed an enormous file on the table - the wine list, all gazillion pages of it, complete with index. Now, here I need input. The wine could be bought in a number of formats - 50ml, 150ml, 250ml or a bottle. Honestly, who drinks 50ml of wine? Do you think they give it to you in a syringe, like you give babies muti? I went for the 250ml, expecting a carafe. I got an enormous glass, into which they poured it. I kept looking to see if there was a goldfish in it.

The menus were printed on large pieces of paper, embossed with the chef/owner's name. Next to us, a married couple sat, looking not-too-pleased to be there. What a waste to go to such a special place and not enjoy it. That's beside the point though, the funniest thing happened. While Shuzie and Pop discussed the merits of the wine list, and I glazed over (I'm a pleb when it comes to wine), I suddenly smelt burning. The not-so-happy-man's menu had caught alight on the flame of the oh-so-stylish little candle on their table.

The food was sublime, I asked many questions about what was what, it had lots of unpronouceable-but-delicious-sounding things on it, as predicted. The company was even more sublime, and we all ordered different things and classily handed them all around the table so we could taste everything. C's order of pork belly was the ultimate winner - delicate medallions of pork, each with a little jacket of perfectly crisp crackling.

G managed to join us for pudding, leaving the monster boss behind. She chose the 'Lemon and Olive Custard'. I was pleased because I'd been intrigued by it. That's what it was called and beneath its name it said 'Cocoa crumble, chocolate mousse, chocolate tile'. It came in a large creme brulee dish - yellow-looking, half the top covered in dark chocolate (tile?) with a small ball (mousse?) covered in edible (I hope) gold paper. It was horrible. Tasted like... well... olive oil. Turned out the crumble was underneath.

When Aubrey came back we discussed this with him. Unfortunately somebody else took our pudding order and he sympathetically told us that he would have warned us against it had it been him! It did not detract from a fabulous evening, though, the beginning of my Jolly Season and we left, through the door opened by another dude-in-a-suit, satiated with delicious food and good company.

Who could ask for more?

'Tis the season to be jolly

Okay, that’s the Pity Party done for the year, black jelly beans and stale Cheese Curls all eaten up and I’ve left the party, with not a glance backwards. ‘Tis now the season to be jolly. Tinsel and sparkley things. And jolly I plan to be.

I’ll be starting the jollification process with a very delicious sounding meal tonight, at one of those very smart, very in, restaurants where I have to ask the waiter a million-and-one questions because I don’t understand the menu because it's filled with oh-so-fashionable-but-unpronouceable ingredients. Normally in the form of a foam or a jus. I can always see them shaking their heads and rolling their eyes when they turn away, at my ignorance. I’m persistant, though, and normally have them on my side by pudding.

I’m going with three of my favourite people. It was supposed to be four, but G’s boss is a monsterous ogre with fourteen arms and one eye and she has to work late and is not allowed to come. I shall attempt to smuggle out a small something for her, probably unpronounceable, but which, I’m sure, will taste delightfully delicious. I’m sure they won’t mind washing out my lunchbox from work lunch (tuna stir-fry) and putting it in there. Why would they?

Heartbreak and joy

The father of one of my childhood friends from the dusty Small Town in the Free State fell down a flight of stairs yesterday and died. He was a wonderful, caring man who was always kind and gentle. He reminded me of Father Christmas. I am so very sad for them all. A reminder, again, of how fragile we all are.

My mother’s call to tell me this came after a morning of sinking feelings as Real Work dealt call after call of horrible, suffering-filled stories, mostly involving children. My heart breaks a little more with each one I deal with and, on one hand, I long to run away and leave it all behind where I can’t see it. Then I remember the man I spoke about above, and the good he did and force myself to be grateful that I can do something, despite having to hear it tearing me apart. Over and over.

And then I am constantly reminded of the whole cycle – my beloved friend, Pop, halfway through chemo, doing so well, pushing through. She is beautiful in her hairlessness, she seemed almost translucent when I went to take her some trashy reading yesterday while she sat, looking small, in the big Lazy Boy, the chemo dripping into her veins, chasing that monster away.

Another friend is in labour as we speak, her baby boy being oh-so-comfortable still, having waited over a week past his due date to start making moves towards joining us here in The Big Wide World. I am sure the wonderful man’s spirit is watching it all from above, smiling and also feeling the joy of the circle of life. Here’s wishing that little boy a safe ride in (and his mum a not-too-painful delivery of him, it’s been almost 24 hours of labour already!)

To heartbreak and joyousness and the celebration of life and my managing to keep my head above water.

A weekend in the country

I went away for the weekend to a funny little house on a baby dam overlooking a big dam with a huge sky above it. The sun set behind the big dam each evening flinging beautiful pinks and oranges across said huge sky. There were five of us, old friends, and the Big Black Dog (BBD) who C kindly sat squashed up with in the back of the car. She thought she’d died and gone to heaven (the BBD, not C.) It was lovely. On Friday we went into the little village across the valley for lunch and Shuzie wondered what I’d blog about. There was much blog fodder.

I could blog about the little house, with its neighbours sitting on top of us, their bathroom just on the other side of Pop and Shuzie’s bedroom, providing them with late night irritation entertainment of the bath/toilet sounds variety. Or the fact that the other three of us slept in the lounge, allowing for cosy five-in-a-bed lazy mornings of tea, chat, and impromptu Thirty Seconds challenges.

Or I could blog about the delicious lunch we had at a hidden little restaurant where a simley (moon-faced) Zimbabwean waiter served us cold beers in salad dressing bottles, ‘beautiful baby potatoes’ and risotto with ‘delicious pea sprouts’ from the restaurant garden and ginger beer out of a can which the barman swore had bits of ginger in it (as opposed to the rust it really was.) The BBD fell in love with a very elegant golden retriever and whined like a teenager to be set free to go and snog (or whatever Big Black Dogs do to their loves) around the corner.

Or I could blog about the prawns on a braai supper we had, followed by a Thirty Seconds competition as the most enormous wind storm buffeted the funny little house on a baby dam overlooking a big dam with a huge sky above it for the whole first night. I thought the roof would blow of. It didn’t.

Or I could blog about Pop, and her hair falling out in clumps from the chemo (she goes for her second session today) and our discussions of hats and scarves and healthy eating and how brave she’s being and how I want to wrap her in cotton wool and put her safely in a bejewelled box where she doesn’t need to go through all this, but that’s her story to blog.

Or I could blog about lunch at the place where the frogs live where we saw no frogs, ate not-particularly-good food but admired the deep blue of many, many peacocks and then went home to sit in front of the funny little house on a baby dam overlooking a big dam with a huge sky above it and looked at the dam and the sky and watched G and the BBD swim in the baby dam while fish jumped out around them, checking to see who was invading their territory.

Or I could blog about the revitalising feeling of spending a weekend with old friends who require no explanations, no airs and graces, no pretence. And then, a donkey to wave goodbye as we headed home toward the City Beneath the Mountain, a little cherry on top.

Or I could just not say anything about it, couldn’t I?

Degrees of perspective

My lovely friend, Pop, as any of you who read regularly know, was diagnosed two weeks ago with breast cancer and told, at that stage, she’d probably have to have a mastectomy, radiation and chemotherapy. She was devastated, as we all were. It was like somebody had dropped me onto the ground from a huge height and winded me, when she told me.

She had lots of tests, they took out the offensive lump, and found another. More worry, more scariness. And then, more tests, and waiting, while this ‘thing’ hung around in the air, flapping its dark wings annoyingly. The tests came back, with results that made us all (wierdly, considering) whoop with joy. It’s the slow-growing kind – she will need a mastectomy, can choose if she wants both, and, possibly (she sees the oncologist today) choose whether or not to have chemotherapy or hormone therapy.

Two weeks ago, that would never have made me whoop with joy. Strange how one’s perspective changes so quickly. Obviously, now is the really difficult time – these are huge decisions she has to make, all with pro’s and con’s. It’d be so much easier if the doctors just said ‘You have to do this’, which, obviously, they can’t. Hopefully things will be a little clearer after her visit today!

In the meantime, she turned 37 yesterday and we all celebrated with a delicious meal at a little Greek place down the road – lovely food, good company and a chocolate cake with flowers on it that my mother kindly made for her. She decorated it with some beautiful camellias which came with gratis tiny snail who looked bewildered to be in a greek restaurant, poor poppet.

Let’s all hold thumbs for an easier decision road for her, shall we?

The blurt begins

Okay, okay, the time has come. The Story needs to be written. I think it may take a couple of posts, probably over a fairly long time, so bear (bare?) with me, okay? Also, I fear that writing it so far past the events may cause me to romanticise it. A bit. It is terribly lovely anyway, and really rather romantic.

Here goes:

The story begins, as all good stories do, a long, long time ago, in an enchanted forest in the grounds of a beautiful castle. Okay, maybe not that long. It was last August. The 16th, to be precise. I’m not normally that good with dates, but this happened to be one of my best friend’s (Pop) birthday, so it’s an easy one to remember.

And, well, it was more like a park. A lovely park, but not an enchanted forest as such. It felt enchanted that day, and does even more so now, at this present-day stage of the story. And, bugger it, I lied about the castle too. There are various lovely Victorian houses around the park, and some tennis courts, but no castle. The park is, however, watched over by the spectacular mountain of The City Beneath the Mountain fame.

It was a warm Sunday and we were all gathered to celebrate Pop’s birthday. The kind of August day that hints at Spring. The park was full of picnickers like us, and Pop had told me that a friend of hers that she had been speaking about for ages was coming along. She thought we’d get on like a house on fire.

So there we were sat, picnic spread like you’ve never seen, champagne with strawberries, sunshine, chatter, and I looked up at a particular moment and saw a person coming towards us. It may, well, have been the champagne, but I felt a warmth, one that was magnified on introduction.

It was a jolly party with lots of chatter between everyone and I, as predicted by Pop, got on very well with the person, making plans to meet up for a theatre expedition at a later date. Easy conversation, no innuendo, good company.

The sun moved off, away over the other little hill (the one resembling a lion, next to the one that signals) and off into the sea. It got cold, and we all headed off to our warm homes, having been reminded that Spring was not quite here yet.

It would be a couple of weeks until our next contact.